Three Ways to Ensure a Second Date!


Securing a second date with a new suitor should not be a hard task, however for some people, frustrating serial first dates are the extent of their dating world! However, not to fret, there is hope! Here are three key ways to ensure that a second date is obtained!

First, be approachable, inviting, friendly, open and fun! These attributes highlight an individual’s confidence and positive sense of self. Showcasing confidence is attractive and others will gravitate to someone that appears to be sure of themselves. Being authentic and honest provides the ability to be relatable to others and sets the foundation to maintain a relationship! Nervousness only comes into play when there is uncertainty about acceptance or rejection, thus accepting of self first will minimize the nervous feelings! Be true to self and everything else will fall into place!

Secondly, reciprocate active listening! There are two people on a date and two individuals should have equal time in sharing themselves to the other person. There is nothing worse than feeling as if the role on a date is to serve as someone’s personal audience. Show interest in the other person’s life and encourage the date to feel safe with sharing about their lives. This can only take place if active listening is being practiced! Be sure to read the social cues and the body language, as it makes up ninety percent of communication! It’s important to be in tune with whether the date is amused or bored with the conversation at hand.

Thirdly, sex should not be the focus of the date! While sexual tension may be in the air, anticipation of the possibility of sex is what maintains the interest! The longer the anticipation, the more time there is to develop a relationship by truly getting to know the other person. Saving sex for after the first date, one can begin to see if their suitor is actually interested in the person, rather than the sexual experience.

Using these tools to secure the second date will also help in the process of deciding whether the date is worthy of investing money, time, and effort. So smile, be approachable, inviting, and open to new experiences! The second date may just lead to happily ever after!

Dr. Roselyn V. Aker-Black has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is a freelance writer, life coach, psychological consultant, relationship expert, and owner of, An interactive website dedicated to providing realistic relationship advice. If you would like to comment on this article or ask Dr. Roz a question, she can be reached at


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